I look back on this blog and view it as a complete work; it chronicled my stages of falling in love from start to finish; reading it back I see how I was thinking feeling at a particular period, that's why I decided I wouldn't delete nor add to it; looks about right.
However, I feel like going for a second round, different state of mind, different things are going on and I feel like writing again; this time I'm doing it on a different blog, a sequel if you may...
http://slash-autobiography2.blogspot.com/
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Monday, December 24, 2007
Last post
I have failed.
There's simply nothing more to write about.
People like yours truly who have so much love to give - so much that it shows - will never find a recipient of their liking. Most probably because it shows, and showing it doesn't count. A happy story is routine, sadness and sorrow are stories.
I have failed.
I don't blame you for anything and I never want you to feel bad; I have learned so much from you and learning still; I hope my obviousness hadn't ruined a beautiful friendship.
For everything you did for me, I thank you.
Don't mind me, for I am not miserable; on the contrary you have released me from worshiping the perfect concept which is you.
I have fought the good fight.
But I have failed.
I also thank everyone whoever spared a few moments of his/her time to read my random thoughts; let alone spared thought for my words.
There's nothing more to write about.
I have failed.
There's simply nothing more to write about.
People like yours truly who have so much love to give - so much that it shows - will never find a recipient of their liking. Most probably because it shows, and showing it doesn't count. A happy story is routine, sadness and sorrow are stories.
I have failed.
I don't blame you for anything and I never want you to feel bad; I have learned so much from you and learning still; I hope my obviousness hadn't ruined a beautiful friendship.
For everything you did for me, I thank you.
Don't mind me, for I am not miserable; on the contrary you have released me from worshiping the perfect concept which is you.
I have fought the good fight.
But I have failed.
I also thank everyone whoever spared a few moments of his/her time to read my random thoughts; let alone spared thought for my words.
There's nothing more to write about.
I have failed.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
spell bound
Every instinct i have is telling me to reach out for you right now,
Every moving minute tells me that you are the one,
I want to hold on to you for as little time as you can offer
Just to tell you what you mean to me
I want that so bad, it makes it hard to sleep at night.
It's been 8 months and two days since i last saw you.
And I'm not lying when I'm telling you that i think of you everyday still!
If you don't want me please let me know.
Set me free.
Deliver the final blow the ends the pain.
Don't worry about hurting me.
just ...
set me free.
Every moving minute tells me that you are the one,
I want to hold on to you for as little time as you can offer
Just to tell you what you mean to me
I want that so bad, it makes it hard to sleep at night.
It's been 8 months and two days since i last saw you.
And I'm not lying when I'm telling you that i think of you everyday still!
If you don't want me please let me know.
Set me free.
Deliver the final blow the ends the pain.
Don't worry about hurting me.
just ...
set me free.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Insecurity
What am I trying to prove? sometimes I wonder. Why do I always have to urge to impress? Why do I need it? I feel confident about what I do but still find ways to reach out to people so that they'd appreciate it.
I avoid the obvious manner of showcasing myself, I don't go around and tell people "hey, this is me" that would label me cocky; but I do however find other means to convey this idea, I use dubious methods to let the people find out themselves and let them be impressed.
Is it my own insecurity that I crave for appreciation? Or is it that the person I'm trying to impress most is myself? I dunno but perhaps realizing this is what's making me feel sleazy every time I hunted another one down.
It's a downward spiral taking me down to nowhere.
I avoid the obvious manner of showcasing myself, I don't go around and tell people "hey, this is me" that would label me cocky; but I do however find other means to convey this idea, I use dubious methods to let the people find out themselves and let them be impressed.
Is it my own insecurity that I crave for appreciation? Or is it that the person I'm trying to impress most is myself? I dunno but perhaps realizing this is what's making me feel sleazy every time I hunted another one down.
It's a downward spiral taking me down to nowhere.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tribal
Ever wondered what defines intellectuallity or a civilized behaviour of entertainment; the other day and i was thinking about it and i realized the means of which we have fun, we either go some fancy place to eat, or hit a bar and have a drink, or maybe go to a club and dance or even go out on a picnic to sit under a tree.
The things that we generally NEED are food on the table, clothes to wear, a roof on our heads and a good job.
Come to think about it, that doesn't really make us that different, does it ?
Friday, December 7, 2007
Paris
Just got to Paris and it felt just like home, funny how you can find Al Ghazalain tea bags with the original arabic incryption, funny how you can see guys kissing each other on the cheek when they meet and funny how there are guys that stand on the city corner and stair at girl's asses as they walk by.
It seems like no matter where you put us arabs, we'll behave the exact same way, wear the same clothes but perhaps speak a different language. The arab people that i've met during this trip struggled with arabic if they could speak it at all, still they had all our trade mark qualities.
They also seem to have brought some - let's say - attitude to the city, the way things are placed outside grocery stores, the way they do business and perhaps the chain of shawirma parlors all over town.
Paris certainly has the big city feeling and it sure has soul. However so far it hasn't impressed me that much, maybe because every city I go to so far is automatically compared to Tokyo or any city in Japan. So far, nothing measured up. If you're scyptical about this, it's because you haven't been there yet.
Thank god they can't tell I'm arab from the way I look, or the English I speak. I really don't want to be affiliated with those people.
Oh and by the way, Indian people are exactly te same every where in the world, I find that amusing. The way they walk in packs and play loud Indian music in their shops. It's kinda cute, in a fucked up way.
Waiting room Effect
This is something that I found really astonishing but at the same time so true and applicable to everyone. It's something that we do and never think about.
Say you've been to a busy restourant and the waiter told you that they need sometime to get your table ready since the place is packed with people that night. So you're waiting in the hall with your friends while the table is getting ready, you notice that suddenly time slows up, you can't think or talk about anything but "When will the table be ready?" or "We've been here forever" plus a lot of boring silent offfing moments.
Once the table is ready, you guys sit down, have dinner and a wonderful evening, you'll go on and on telling amusing stories and interesting ideas plus maybe some funny jokes.
This is what's interesting, you were with the same people and at exactly the same place, the only difference is that you just sat down on a table! How could sitting down would have affected the line of entertainment or fun? It was actually the fact that when one waits for something, there's nothing else he/she can think of, no matter how irrelivant that thing could have been.
It's like once we lable something, and it has a name for us - wait in this case - it becomes an object of interest, and with the highest priority.
The only time that you were able to lose that priority is that when the waiter - the name is ironic I know - came and told you about the table.
Consider, waiting for a bus, or waiting for your hotel room or even life as good examples.
I call that the waiting room effect.
Say you've been to a busy restourant and the waiter told you that they need sometime to get your table ready since the place is packed with people that night. So you're waiting in the hall with your friends while the table is getting ready, you notice that suddenly time slows up, you can't think or talk about anything but "When will the table be ready?" or "We've been here forever" plus a lot of boring silent offfing moments.
Once the table is ready, you guys sit down, have dinner and a wonderful evening, you'll go on and on telling amusing stories and interesting ideas plus maybe some funny jokes.
This is what's interesting, you were with the same people and at exactly the same place, the only difference is that you just sat down on a table! How could sitting down would have affected the line of entertainment or fun? It was actually the fact that when one waits for something, there's nothing else he/she can think of, no matter how irrelivant that thing could have been.
It's like once we lable something, and it has a name for us - wait in this case - it becomes an object of interest, and with the highest priority.
The only time that you were able to lose that priority is that when the waiter - the name is ironic I know - came and told you about the table.
Consider, waiting for a bus, or waiting for your hotel room or even life as good examples.
I call that the waiting room effect.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Triumph
I have done it.
for the past three days i've had nothing but good feedback, comments and encouragements from industry vertrans. i'm talking about people that have been in the business for 15+ years. They shake my hand telling me how good my presentation was, how solid my game design is and how wonderful the story is written.
they salute how my game has soul, how the game is entertaining and how surprised they are of the quality that is provided to them.
I walk uppon them as not a visiter but as one of them. They treat me as an equal and fellow bussiness partner.
No matter what happens after this. I have succeeded.
I am triumphant!
for the past three days i've had nothing but good feedback, comments and encouragements from industry vertrans. i'm talking about people that have been in the business for 15+ years. They shake my hand telling me how good my presentation was, how solid my game design is and how wonderful the story is written.
they salute how my game has soul, how the game is entertaining and how surprised they are of the quality that is provided to them.
I walk uppon them as not a visiter but as one of them. They treat me as an equal and fellow bussiness partner.
No matter what happens after this. I have succeeded.
I am triumphant!
Monday, December 3, 2007
Traveler's log
Travelling is a huge part of my job and one of my favourites actually. Almost every three months i have to fly somewhere and attened a conference, there i would meet up with the industry giants and do a title product presentation in order to market my company to them.
so that usually takes like 4-5 days of real hard work. i mean 9 hours a day hard work all meetings, you do the math; after that i'm generally rewarded with a 3-4 day vacation in order to actually see the place.
I've just reached the end of the first day of one of these travels, which is to France if you really want to know. I have thought of many things during this day, things that i have noticed to reaccure in all my previous visits and decided to jot them down. here's my story.
I don't go alone on those trips, i'm accompanied with either the company president, or the project manager - his younger brother - or both at the same time. Don't get me wrong, these two are of the nicest people you'll ever meet, but they have some real annoying habits sometimes, and that's what i want to discuss here actually.
The most annoying thing ever is that they are Middle Eastern packers. which is a term well known to the outside world describing people who pack a lot more than they need. for instance, the big boss is only staying for 5 days, 4 of them are in meeting so he'll have to wear 1-2 suites and that's it. He came with the biggest bag i have ever seen, not only that, he had monitors, speakers, posters, banners, bags, more bags plus his huge laptop briefcase. the funny thing is that he was originally overwieght before we even got on the plane, but thanks to a friendly clerk, he let us pass. however, you could only imagine the consequences of his return.
his younger brother is exactly the same, he's got an even bigger suitcase, another small hand bag and his laptops briefcase as well. So by the time i got to the airport i discovered that there are 3 of us and 10 packages of heavy luggage. The other funny thing is that, all though they packed a whole house, they always seem to have forgotten something! every 10 minutes we're on the plane it's "Shit , i forgot my shoes!!!" , or "Shit i forgot my credit card!!!" ... they always manage to forget the important things while they remember to bring the set of golf clubslol.
I wouldn't have cared less except for this, I travel light, i carry a very light, wheel driven suitcase that would only weigh 10kilos and my laptop backpack. that's it. I do that because i KNOW what it feels like to drag a heavey bag in the subway, i know what it feels like to carry a box of stuff for 3 blocks, and i know that once you carry too much luggage, every custom agent in any airport will start asking questions. not to mention that you do have to pay a hefty fine for being overwieght - Fat people don't be offended.
So naturally, they look at me and say "hey since you have a light load why don't you help out, take a bag or two". try saying no to your boss 40000miles away from home and i'll take my hat off in respect for you. pisses me off ... really !!!
they always lose stuff, keep searching for the their passports or tickets while it's in thier pockets, always bumping into people, always dropping things, always asking for directions for no real reason ... etc, it's kinda embaressing, i'd real wish they stop, if i show my content i'm suddenly a show off or in a bad mood today.
so anywayz, we got on the damn plane, which turned out to be a fucking tuna can. it's sooo small, there are three people sitting on each column. sitting there i realized that there are a couple of more people that i really hate; I hate people who take all the arm rest and pretend not to be comfy, i hate the people that just keep on calling the air hostess, i hate the people that bring their chairs back soo much that i t stucks in my throught, i hate people that sleep and snore durning flights so that no other person can, i hate the people that take all of your space and pretend that they didn't, i hate the people that rush out of the plane as soon as it lands, i hate the people that keep going to the damn bathroom every other second and kick you in the nutts on the way every single time they walk down the aisle and i hate the air stewardsts that smile to your fucking face while they are disgusted of the mere thought of your existance.
In France, smokers are treated like crap, i mean you can't smoke in ANY building, everytime you needed a cig, you have to step out. it was raining out, and i wanted to smoke, the smoking area outside the airport was in the middile of the sidewalk, there was no umbrella no shield from the rain no nothing, kinda pisses me off too.
I had the thought that it was gonna be a bad day and that's it, better go home and blog about the whole thing. It was up until the moment we rented the car and started driving around that changed everything. France is very very very beautiful! At least Lyon is, i still haven't got to Paris which i think is going to blow me off the charts, i forgot all about the flight, i forgot all about my colleagues' bad habits and really enjoyed their company, they're really fun and makes you laugh when you least expect it. coming late at night, and writing about it, i had a very very long and extremely wonderful day, that i'll probably remember for the longest of times.
so why blog about the bad stuff and not the good stuff ?? Hello, have you actually read my blog? there's nothing good or happy about it. I think it's becoming a theme! yeah, i like that !
so that usually takes like 4-5 days of real hard work. i mean 9 hours a day hard work all meetings, you do the math; after that i'm generally rewarded with a 3-4 day vacation in order to actually see the place.
I've just reached the end of the first day of one of these travels, which is to France if you really want to know. I have thought of many things during this day, things that i have noticed to reaccure in all my previous visits and decided to jot them down. here's my story.
I don't go alone on those trips, i'm accompanied with either the company president, or the project manager - his younger brother - or both at the same time. Don't get me wrong, these two are of the nicest people you'll ever meet, but they have some real annoying habits sometimes, and that's what i want to discuss here actually.
The most annoying thing ever is that they are Middle Eastern packers. which is a term well known to the outside world describing people who pack a lot more than they need. for instance, the big boss is only staying for 5 days, 4 of them are in meeting so he'll have to wear 1-2 suites and that's it. He came with the biggest bag i have ever seen, not only that, he had monitors, speakers, posters, banners, bags, more bags plus his huge laptop briefcase. the funny thing is that he was originally overwieght before we even got on the plane, but thanks to a friendly clerk, he let us pass. however, you could only imagine the consequences of his return.
his younger brother is exactly the same, he's got an even bigger suitcase, another small hand bag and his laptops briefcase as well. So by the time i got to the airport i discovered that there are 3 of us and 10 packages of heavy luggage. The other funny thing is that, all though they packed a whole house, they always seem to have forgotten something! every 10 minutes we're on the plane it's "Shit , i forgot my shoes!!!" , or "Shit i forgot my credit card!!!" ... they always manage to forget the important things while they remember to bring the set of golf clubslol.
I wouldn't have cared less except for this, I travel light, i carry a very light, wheel driven suitcase that would only weigh 10kilos and my laptop backpack. that's it. I do that because i KNOW what it feels like to drag a heavey bag in the subway, i know what it feels like to carry a box of stuff for 3 blocks, and i know that once you carry too much luggage, every custom agent in any airport will start asking questions. not to mention that you do have to pay a hefty fine for being overwieght - Fat people don't be offended.
So naturally, they look at me and say "hey since you have a light load why don't you help out, take a bag or two". try saying no to your boss 40000miles away from home and i'll take my hat off in respect for you. pisses me off ... really !!!
they always lose stuff, keep searching for the their passports or tickets while it's in thier pockets, always bumping into people, always dropping things, always asking for directions for no real reason ... etc, it's kinda embaressing, i'd real wish they stop, if i show my content i'm suddenly a show off or in a bad mood today.
so anywayz, we got on the damn plane, which turned out to be a fucking tuna can. it's sooo small, there are three people sitting on each column. sitting there i realized that there are a couple of more people that i really hate; I hate people who take all the arm rest and pretend not to be comfy, i hate the people that just keep on calling the air hostess, i hate the people that bring their chairs back soo much that i t stucks in my throught, i hate people that sleep and snore durning flights so that no other person can, i hate the people that take all of your space and pretend that they didn't, i hate the people that rush out of the plane as soon as it lands, i hate the people that keep going to the damn bathroom every other second and kick you in the nutts on the way every single time they walk down the aisle and i hate the air stewardsts that smile to your fucking face while they are disgusted of the mere thought of your existance.
In France, smokers are treated like crap, i mean you can't smoke in ANY building, everytime you needed a cig, you have to step out. it was raining out, and i wanted to smoke, the smoking area outside the airport was in the middile of the sidewalk, there was no umbrella no shield from the rain no nothing, kinda pisses me off too.
I had the thought that it was gonna be a bad day and that's it, better go home and blog about the whole thing. It was up until the moment we rented the car and started driving around that changed everything. France is very very very beautiful! At least Lyon is, i still haven't got to Paris which i think is going to blow me off the charts, i forgot all about the flight, i forgot all about my colleagues' bad habits and really enjoyed their company, they're really fun and makes you laugh when you least expect it. coming late at night, and writing about it, i had a very very long and extremely wonderful day, that i'll probably remember for the longest of times.
so why blog about the bad stuff and not the good stuff ?? Hello, have you actually read my blog? there's nothing good or happy about it. I think it's becoming a theme! yeah, i like that !
Friday, November 30, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Insomnia
My biggest problem is sleeping!
I hate sleeping so much you wouldn't believe it. I'm a heavy sleeper, and I can't get less then 8 hours of sleep a night; if I do, I lose my focus and have a crappy mood through out the whole day.
I used to hate it as a kid because I used to miss out on school - and then collage lectures - a lot which always got me into trouble, as i matured i realized how much time is spent in bed; it is in a word: Lost.
I actually did the math, considering you live till you're 50 - optimistic, ain't i? - with an average of 8 hours of sleep a day - again - that means that you would be spending 292000 hours sleeping!! that amounts to 16 Friggin' years!!!
Imagine the things that you can do, people that you could meet, places to see, books to read, movies to watch, music to play, love to give, crafts to learn and rivers to cross.
Life's too short.
Makes me pray for insomnia.
I'm not a morning person! Morning people are weird!
I hate sleeping so much you wouldn't believe it. I'm a heavy sleeper, and I can't get less then 8 hours of sleep a night; if I do, I lose my focus and have a crappy mood through out the whole day.
I used to hate it as a kid because I used to miss out on school - and then collage lectures - a lot which always got me into trouble, as i matured i realized how much time is spent in bed; it is in a word: Lost.
I actually did the math, considering you live till you're 50 - optimistic, ain't i? - with an average of 8 hours of sleep a day - again - that means that you would be spending 292000 hours sleeping!! that amounts to 16 Friggin' years!!!
Imagine the things that you can do, people that you could meet, places to see, books to read, movies to watch, music to play, love to give, crafts to learn and rivers to cross.
Life's too short.
Makes me pray for insomnia.
I'm not a morning person! Morning people are weird!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Patience
All you had to say was hello, to make me the happiest man alive...
I realize that you are having problems, I realize that you are in pain.
You won't burden me, it makes me happy to be there for you...
It makes me happy to hear you...
It makes me ecstatic to be by your side.
When you told me that you thought about me every time it rained, it was the first time I experience the tears of joy.
I don't want to push you to do things that you don't want to do; If you can't see me I'm fine with that, if you can't call me I'm also fine with that.
All I want is to know that there's a place I'll return to someday, to know that you are thinking about me sometimes and for you to know that I love you.
Someday I will help you.
Only if you let me.
Only if you let me.
No Matter how long it takes...
I will wait.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
A study on the Jordanian Female
My observations and my lousy dating experiences had let me to come up with the following notes regarding the behaviour and preferences of the Jordanian Female (i could make it more general and say Arab girl but I'll pass) consider them my top ten:
1- All Girls Love to dance!
Age, education and looks have nothing to do with this factor. They all love to dance. They're all salsa and rumba experts - even though none of them can actually name a single Latino artist (NO! Marc Anthony doesn't count).
2- They like to dress guys up!
All girls like their significant other - or any guy the sea on the street for that matter -to be dressed 'nice'. the more formal your dress code is, the more 'nice' you are. The all time favourite is the black shirt. if you wear dark jeans with a black shirt on then that's it, you hit the jackpot! Guys like me, who always wear shorts and T-shirts the summer, Sweat shirts and Jeans in the winter , Adidas basketball shoes all the way are considered to be 'mbahdal' or not in the 'nice' sub category. They always seem to be attracted to the guys I consider to be either 7afartal, nerds or Bad boy wannabes (see point #9).
3- Women hate facial hair period!
No matter how proud you are of your saksookeh (Goatee) girls don't like it. Mustaches are a big no no. it seems like the only thought they have when they look at your face is: how am I gonna kiss THAT? If your barber shaves yours off by accident don't get in a fight with him, because I can promise you the girls would be soooo happy the following day you'd forget all about what he did.
4- Every Girl is the Center of the Universe!
Whatever topic you try to open, you'll end up discussing them. They are very powerful at diverting conversations into their own benefits. You'd be dissing something and you'll end up apologizing to them, you'd be talking about god and you'll end up stopping them from crying, you'd be talking about work and you'd have to shut it so that you can entertain them with something else. You can't talk about some other girl cause they'll always think you're talking about them.
5- Ambition level is very narrow if existed!
Yeah you could say that some guys share this feature, but it's extremely wide spread in the opposite gender. a simple question like "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" would cause chaos. Some would mumble while they talk and get all depressed, others would go into fairy tales about how they'll rule the world. The most common thing is that most of them is going to be rich and happy ... sadly they don't know - or at least have a game plan - how would that be accomplished.
6- Girls have no hobbies.
Other than shopping or dancing very few girls have REAL hobbies or interests. they make a very dull conversation since they have nothing really to talk about. it's up to us - the guys - to entertain them with our heroic stories and achievements. it seems to me that we are trying to impress all the time while they - besides the make up and the hair due - have little impression to make.
7- Every girl is a wannabe feminist
They all get all worked up when you make a sexist remark - all thought you might be kidding. Every one of them believe deeply in equal rights between the male and the female population all though very little is done on their behalf towards that issue.
8- They have self esteem issue.
When it comes to looks, they are really uncertain about it. with all the money, time and effort they spend on their beauty a single word like "what's wrong? you look weird today?" could send them straight to the toilet trying to fix stuff up! all though they can make a habit of criticizing your looks ("you really should shave" is among my favourites all though it's really none of your business) however, you can never EVER make a comment with a semi equal effect.
9- Apparently, they have no sense of judgement!
They are always attracted to pure ASSHOLES!! yup , the type that will look them straight in the eye and tell them "oh yeah, I'm going to cheat on ya". If you try to warn them about that, you'd get a response "you always make bad judgements about the people i like" or "you don't want to see me happy"! so it's better to shut up about it and let them face the facts by themselves. the painful part however, is that you have to sit through a session of "guys are pigs" "yes i agree" girl discussion. Good guys are all over the place , sweet guys they'll make you live happily ever after; sadly they're not 'attractive' lol
10- Every Girl is a prize to be won!
All though almost every girl will be insulted if you tell her that to her face, the fact is they enjoy seeing guys competing, fighting, giving them gifts, racing, making stupid bets, paying their bills, driving them around ...etc on the false hope to win their heart. The marathon prize doesn't need THIS much effort.
lool no i'm not pissed off, i'm just stating facts here.
1- All Girls Love to dance!
Age, education and looks have nothing to do with this factor. They all love to dance. They're all salsa and rumba experts - even though none of them can actually name a single Latino artist (NO! Marc Anthony doesn't count).
2- They like to dress guys up!
All girls like their significant other - or any guy the sea on the street for that matter -to be dressed 'nice'. the more formal your dress code is, the more 'nice' you are. The all time favourite is the black shirt. if you wear dark jeans with a black shirt on then that's it, you hit the jackpot! Guys like me, who always wear shorts and T-shirts the summer, Sweat shirts and Jeans in the winter , Adidas basketball shoes all the way are considered to be 'mbahdal' or not in the 'nice' sub category. They always seem to be attracted to the guys I consider to be either 7afartal, nerds or Bad boy wannabes (see point #9).
3- Women hate facial hair period!
No matter how proud you are of your saksookeh (Goatee) girls don't like it. Mustaches are a big no no. it seems like the only thought they have when they look at your face is: how am I gonna kiss THAT? If your barber shaves yours off by accident don't get in a fight with him, because I can promise you the girls would be soooo happy the following day you'd forget all about what he did.
4- Every Girl is the Center of the Universe!
Whatever topic you try to open, you'll end up discussing them. They are very powerful at diverting conversations into their own benefits. You'd be dissing something and you'll end up apologizing to them, you'd be talking about god and you'll end up stopping them from crying, you'd be talking about work and you'd have to shut it so that you can entertain them with something else. You can't talk about some other girl cause they'll always think you're talking about them.
5- Ambition level is very narrow if existed!
Yeah you could say that some guys share this feature, but it's extremely wide spread in the opposite gender. a simple question like "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" would cause chaos. Some would mumble while they talk and get all depressed, others would go into fairy tales about how they'll rule the world. The most common thing is that most of them is going to be rich and happy ... sadly they don't know - or at least have a game plan - how would that be accomplished.
6- Girls have no hobbies.
Other than shopping or dancing very few girls have REAL hobbies or interests. they make a very dull conversation since they have nothing really to talk about. it's up to us - the guys - to entertain them with our heroic stories and achievements. it seems to me that we are trying to impress all the time while they - besides the make up and the hair due - have little impression to make.
7- Every girl is a wannabe feminist
They all get all worked up when you make a sexist remark - all thought you might be kidding. Every one of them believe deeply in equal rights between the male and the female population all though very little is done on their behalf towards that issue.
8- They have self esteem issue.
When it comes to looks, they are really uncertain about it. with all the money, time and effort they spend on their beauty a single word like "what's wrong? you look weird today?" could send them straight to the toilet trying to fix stuff up! all though they can make a habit of criticizing your looks ("you really should shave" is among my favourites all though it's really none of your business) however, you can never EVER make a comment with a semi equal effect.
9- Apparently, they have no sense of judgement!
They are always attracted to pure ASSHOLES!! yup , the type that will look them straight in the eye and tell them "oh yeah, I'm going to cheat on ya". If you try to warn them about that, you'd get a response "you always make bad judgements about the people i like" or "you don't want to see me happy"! so it's better to shut up about it and let them face the facts by themselves. the painful part however, is that you have to sit through a session of "guys are pigs" "yes i agree" girl discussion. Good guys are all over the place , sweet guys they'll make you live happily ever after; sadly they're not 'attractive' lol
10- Every Girl is a prize to be won!
All though almost every girl will be insulted if you tell her that to her face, the fact is they enjoy seeing guys competing, fighting, giving them gifts, racing, making stupid bets, paying their bills, driving them around ...etc on the false hope to win their heart. The marathon prize doesn't need THIS much effort.
lool no i'm not pissed off, i'm just stating facts here.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Running on Empty
Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
Looking back at the years gone by like so many summer fields
In sixty-five I was seventeen and running up one-o-one
I don't know where I'm running now, I'm just running on
Running on - running on empty
Looking back at the years gone by like so many summer fields
In sixty-five I was seventeen and running up one-o-one
I don't know where I'm running now, I'm just running on
Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind
Gotta do what you can just to keep your love alive
Trying not to confuse it with what you do to survive
In sixty-nine I was twenty-one and I called the road my own
I don't know when that road turned onto the road I'm on
Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind
Everyone I know, everywhere I go
People need some reason to believe
I don't know about anyone but me
If it takes all night, that'll be all right
If I can get you to smile before I leave
Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels
I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels
I look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through
Looking into their eyes I see them running too
Running on - running on empty
Running on - running blind
Running on - running into the sun
But I'm running behind
Honey you really tempt me
You know the way you look so kind
Id love to stick around but I'm running behind
You know I don't even know what I'm hoping to find
Running into the sun but I'm running behind
Jackson Browne, 1988
Funny or Just plain Stupid
One day I was at the radio station, I had a late night shift which you have to mix basically slow love songs back to back. I've been doing this long enough that I could program a 3 hour show in like 20 minutes, I know the songs very well and very accustomed to the station format. so naturally, after a long day at work and a lonely night at the station , I get bloody bored.
So one time, I had the show ready and I was just sitting there, and I decided to play some games on my PSP. an hour later my manager was listening on the radio and thought of coming over on his way home to tell me what a wonderful show it was. So he barged in the studio while I was playing PSP. He still told me what he wanted to say - he was a pretty decent guy - and then left. The next day I found a paper on the dashboard saying "No Internet and No Video games allowed while on duty".
I found that quite funny actually.
Ever since then, I bring a book along. It seems like reading a book - no matter what the fuck that book was - makes you look intelligent and professional. People still pass me by on my late night shifts while I'm reading a book, and instead of telling me off they ask what the title of the book, and what was it about. Obviously, no one reads, they just want to appear interested so that they'd look somewhat intelligent themselves. the hypocrisy of some people kills me. There are books that are far more time wasting and stupid than video games - Daniel Steel or John Grisham books, ring a bell? - and still having that fake image that people so desperately want to share apparently clouds their judgements.
I found that quite stupid actually.
So one time, I had the show ready and I was just sitting there, and I decided to play some games on my PSP. an hour later my manager was listening on the radio and thought of coming over on his way home to tell me what a wonderful show it was. So he barged in the studio while I was playing PSP. He still told me what he wanted to say - he was a pretty decent guy - and then left. The next day I found a paper on the dashboard saying "No Internet and No Video games allowed while on duty".
I found that quite funny actually.
Ever since then, I bring a book along. It seems like reading a book - no matter what the fuck that book was - makes you look intelligent and professional. People still pass me by on my late night shifts while I'm reading a book, and instead of telling me off they ask what the title of the book, and what was it about. Obviously, no one reads, they just want to appear interested so that they'd look somewhat intelligent themselves. the hypocrisy of some people kills me. There are books that are far more time wasting and stupid than video games - Daniel Steel or John Grisham books, ring a bell? - and still having that fake image that people so desperately want to share apparently clouds their judgements.
I found that quite stupid actually.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Monday, November 5, 2007
Remember Remember the 5th of November
Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant and vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I know of no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot...
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Atheism
Caught your attention? well, I guess it's time for some controversy on this blog don't you think?
Well, let's clear things out for a start, I am an atheist! And damn proud too, I've been so for as long as I remember. Back when I was younger I used to avoid telling people what I am because I feared their judgement or I didn't want to get the headache of trying to explain myself to them; But as I got older it hit me, what I believe is what I am, and if I'm too shy to say what I believe in then I'm denying my own character which is equal to death.
The question shouldn't be "why are you an atheist?" as if it's the rule breaker, I've never had the need to ask someone "why are you a Muslim?" or "why are you a christian?" it's not as if I am weird, you have your doubts, and you want to prove you're right to yourself using me as an excuse.
Most of the time, you'd find out that you're not sure what to believe anymore.
Before going into detail, I'll tell you one thing: No one knows anything for sure about this topic. whether god exists or not is a complete mystery! And if there's someone that tells you he's/She's 100% sure, they're lying. In this topic you don't know , you BELIEVE! there's a huge difference.
Why do we need religion?
Here are some of the main reasons:
1- We can't accept the fact that life will end after we die. our existence is so arrogant that we can't accept that we'd vanish one day! Life suddenly seems too short.
2- There's so much injustice in this world, injustice that we can't do anything about. so we can only hope that something will come around and make things right in the end.
3- if we can't make our own reason for existence, religion got that ready for us.
My take on religion:
1- Religion tends to make people judgemental, which is the root of all evil.
2- People as a result leave out a lot of things that they could be or do, they don't make their own reason for existence making them mere pawns.
3- Religion in part is a tribal movement. the fuel of the fire of hatred.
4- As part , religion deletes the human brain factor.
I'll detail these along with others in later posts.
FAQ: Since you're an atheist, how do you know good from evil ?
ANS: Nietzsche once raised the question of are humans originally good or evil ? however, should it state "good to whom?" or "bad to whom?" would make the answer a lot different, don't you think?
in short, there's no absolute good or evil, it depends on your perspective on things.
FAQ: So you're OK about dieing in 60 years ? you don't feel insignificant?
ANS: I'm perfectly fine with that, I have 60 years which is more than plenty, and I have to make use of every second to live an enjoyable, happy and fulfilling life. It's my own purpose of existence: to let go knowing that I had a great life.
I'll talk more about this subject later, it had filled millions of books, and the post is getting long enough already.
Well, let's clear things out for a start, I am an atheist! And damn proud too, I've been so for as long as I remember. Back when I was younger I used to avoid telling people what I am because I feared their judgement or I didn't want to get the headache of trying to explain myself to them; But as I got older it hit me, what I believe is what I am, and if I'm too shy to say what I believe in then I'm denying my own character which is equal to death.
The question shouldn't be "why are you an atheist?" as if it's the rule breaker, I've never had the need to ask someone "why are you a Muslim?" or "why are you a christian?" it's not as if I am weird, you have your doubts, and you want to prove you're right to yourself using me as an excuse.
Most of the time, you'd find out that you're not sure what to believe anymore.
Before going into detail, I'll tell you one thing: No one knows anything for sure about this topic. whether god exists or not is a complete mystery! And if there's someone that tells you he's/She's 100% sure, they're lying. In this topic you don't know , you BELIEVE! there's a huge difference.
Why do we need religion?
Here are some of the main reasons:
1- We can't accept the fact that life will end after we die. our existence is so arrogant that we can't accept that we'd vanish one day! Life suddenly seems too short.
2- There's so much injustice in this world, injustice that we can't do anything about. so we can only hope that something will come around and make things right in the end.
3- if we can't make our own reason for existence, religion got that ready for us.
My take on religion:
1- Religion tends to make people judgemental, which is the root of all evil.
2- People as a result leave out a lot of things that they could be or do, they don't make their own reason for existence making them mere pawns.
3- Religion in part is a tribal movement. the fuel of the fire of hatred.
4- As part , religion deletes the human brain factor.
I'll detail these along with others in later posts.
FAQ: Since you're an atheist, how do you know good from evil ?
ANS: Nietzsche once raised the question of are humans originally good or evil ? however, should it state "good to whom?" or "bad to whom?" would make the answer a lot different, don't you think?
in short, there's no absolute good or evil, it depends on your perspective on things.
FAQ: So you're OK about dieing in 60 years ? you don't feel insignificant?
ANS: I'm perfectly fine with that, I have 60 years which is more than plenty, and I have to make use of every second to live an enjoyable, happy and fulfilling life. It's my own purpose of existence: to let go knowing that I had a great life.
I'll talk more about this subject later, it had filled millions of books, and the post is getting long enough already.
Friday, November 2, 2007
Feeling good
This is probably the first time ever that I write here when I'm in a good mood :D
I've just finished playing a very hard piece on the guitar, it's Eric Johnson's Cliffs of Dover , a wonderful instrumental and I PLAYED IT!! yup, I'm here to brag about it!
And I'm Finlay back to my 2D work, doing sketches, inking and digital painting... haven't touched a canvas in a long long time !!! almost 4 years now can you believe it!!! Finally getting my act up again !
Now, all that's left is find sometime for the gym !! Gotta get those six packs back!! work in progress, work in progress :D
I've just finished playing a very hard piece on the guitar, it's Eric Johnson's Cliffs of Dover , a wonderful instrumental and I PLAYED IT!! yup, I'm here to brag about it!
And I'm Finlay back to my 2D work, doing sketches, inking and digital painting... haven't touched a canvas in a long long time !!! almost 4 years now can you believe it!!! Finally getting my act up again !
Now, all that's left is find sometime for the gym !! Gotta get those six packs back!! work in progress, work in progress :D
Monday, October 29, 2007
Coming into life
Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone elses words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun
Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of live and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but
I took a heavenly ride through one silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life
I took a heavenly ride trough our silence
I knew the waiting had begin
And headed straight... into the shining sun
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone elses words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun
Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of live and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but
I took a heavenly ride through one silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life
I took a heavenly ride trough our silence
I knew the waiting had begin
And headed straight... into the shining sun
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
